This is an unusual topic for me to take up in this blog. For the most part, I write about plants and fungi, occasionally books and movies. But today, for some reason, I feel like taking up a psychological concept, “over-monitoring,” which I’ve encountered in Alice Boyes’s book The Anxiety Toolkit.
I took up this book (and yes, this is the third time I’ve used the phrasal verb “take up” in the past 50 words—TEFL teachers, feel free to use this post when your students ask, “but, do you really use phrasal verbs?”) in part for work, as a lot of the students I work with have anxiety disorders, and in part for myself, as anxiety is something pretty much everyone deals with at one point or another (probably many times a day).
The idea that you can over-monitor your symptoms is somewhat surprising in an age of mindfulness, when one would assume that more aware of how you are feeling at any given moment the better. I, for instance, begin almost every session with a student/client with a check-in, where I ask them how they are feeling on a scale of 1-10. But, as Boyes points out, constantly monitoring your anxiety tends to make it worse— as when you can’t fall asleep because you are thinking to much about much you need to fall asleep.
Similarly, over-monitoring your happiness can be counter-productive, if by happiness we mean feeling good in a particular moment. You might get frustrated with yourself for not feeling happy when you should. For example, the weekend you’ve long been waiting for rolls around and you feel frustratingly meh, and then mad at yourself for not making better use of your precious freedom.
The idea behind Boyes’s CBT based approach is to treat anxiety indirectly. Treat anxiety as an obstacle on the path to something else—fulfillment, your goals. Keep your eyes on the goal, not on the anxiety that stands in your way.
This brings us to a second sense of the word “happiness.” Not as feeling good in this present moment, but as feeling overall that your life has a meaning and purpose. Perhaps this sense of “happiness” is closer to “fulfilled.” The point of this distinction is that it contextualizes your present feelings within a broader framework of meaning. If I see my anxiety as a temporary discomfiture on the way to something I want, I will feel less overwhelmed, less likely to try to change the way I’m feeling, and more likely to endure it. Similarly, I may not feel all that joyous in the present moment, but if I know that what I’m doing contributes to some goal I’ve set myself, I will be more self-forgiving.
The question this raises though, is if what if there is no goal I want more than I fear my anxiety? What if I struggle setting goals for myself? For example, students with intellectual disabilities may lack the metarepresentational skills that make contextualizing current anxiety within a broader framework possible.
Overall, I find Boyes’s concepts very useful—but as with any other tool, I don’t think they will work for everyone.









































